Let Go

So, I like to be in control. I also like feeling like I've got everything taken care of. As you may already be thinking, this isn't a very good way to be if I want God in control.
On Sunday night after I was home from church and just about ready for bed I had a pretty powerful and changing conversation with God. I'm not gonna go into details really but, I was kinda "freaking" out to God about some things that well, seemed out of my control. I didn't know what to do anymore and things were starting to really frustrate and overwhelm me. I tend to stress myself out over little things. But as I was asking God for help, He really just wanted me to let go of these things in my life that I've been trying to control.
I've known I needed to completely surrender to God and let Him have control over everything for a little while, and kinda thought I was already on my way to being "out of control" (in a good way.) but God really showed me how much I was still holding on. So, with tears in my eyes and desperation in my voice, I gave it all to God. I'm not holding anything back anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I wasn't holding on to things because I didn't want to give them up, I just thought I had things under control and I had God to help me. How often do we misinterrpret ourselves being in control while seeking God's guidance... with letting God be in control? Holding on to things and not letting God have them was sending me on a downward spiral. The thing about downward spirals is eventually you crash.
As soon as I gave it all to God I can't even describe the calmness that came over me. It was crazy and so comforting.

"No matter what changes God has wrought in you, never rely upon them; build only on a Person, the Lord Jesus Christ, and on the Spirit He gives you." -Oswald Chambers

Even if you're controlling things with the knowledge or change that you've received from God, it's still not a good idea to be in control.
I can NEVER rely on myself again, it's just not a good idea, instead I'm completely relying on God.
So, I encourage you to examine your life. Is there anything you're holding on to, that God should be in control of? If so, let it go. Things will be SO much better when you do!

living hxc,
riley

what do you know...another REALLY LONG BLOG. sorry :)